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Footy Power - Football Rules Australia

Local and football global people are being asked to end the violence against innocent parties.

“I’m over here,” I said, quaffing a nice wine, “I can’t wait to meet you all.”

Roundly condemned for schoolboy errors and other mistakes, I am sorry.

“You might say,” he said, in typical narcissistic fashion, “that I am being persecuted.”

Scrutinised intensely and perhaps rightly judged harshly, I am trying to end the senseless vioelnce.

“Thinking that I was working in a void,” he said, vaccuosly, “gave me too great a sense of liberty.”

Hurting a person with a word should be met with a harsh word or two, to my way of thinking.

"I am way just so stupid," he added, curiously enough, "which is immediately apparent, I'm sure."

Having said all that, what sense is there in not taking the opportunity to end the senselessness.

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Blues President Calls IT off

The legendary blues boss calls IT off.

“You say potato,” he said, and I say, “potato.”

He called on his Magpie counterpart to too, he added

"Potato. Potato. Tomato. Tomato." they sang..

Stop all this silly stuff, and let my hair go.

"Let's put it in ink," they nodded.

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Carlton needs a lift

A pedestrian-looking Carlton needs a lift if it is to make anything of this year.

“We thought we were headed in the right direction,” one said, wandering along.

Languishing at the foot of the ladder, the club needs to find something this round.

“We just want to publically apologize for our performances so far,” one other said.

Hoping to turn things around, the Blues are adamant that their best is just ahead.
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Carlton 2014: Number 43

The Physical: waking up with a bad break, no matter the conditions, can present anybody with a case of the blues.

The Spiritual: healing over the course of time, making good with what is round, takes a given kind of enlightenment.

The Emotional: kicking on from the past, looking forward to the future, can change the very present experience.

The Intellectual: building an open mind, accommodating of divergent views, creates room for improvement.

The Quintessential: good vibrations, instrumental in playing, go a long way towards a harmonious group atmosphere.

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Norm: Who Am I To Preach?

Interchange player, bench-warmer extraordinaire, and self-abusive Sinner, yours truly is hardly one to talk.

“I can hardly talk,” he said, nursing a broken voice, “but I never listen, and I assume everybody is the same.”

Sober for the first time in hours, the wonky-eyed willy-fiddler played his – the world’s smallest – violin instead.

“It sounds like this,” he said to himself, taking his medicine, “and you know what they say about talking to yourself.”
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Live Export Of Poor Junior Footballers Set To Begin In Earnest

Entire teams of under-performing minors could be sent offshore for processing as part of the program to help aid a flagging sector.

"This isn't just about football," said one potential investor; "some of these kids can't run to save their lives."

Junior footballers deemed to be poor enough can expect to be sent to any one of a number of processing facilities where they will have certain things drilled into them.

"It's a lottery," said another potential investor; "if they are lucky, they will."

Fans of the proposal say that detractors can expect similar treatment if they know what is good for them.

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Highly-paid communist in desperate bid to prove he is a man

Hobart, the home of the homosexual, has pledged to turn back any boat containing the highly-paid person, whether it be the silly season or not.

"We know Christmas is coming up," the person said, "because we got a free calendar with our pocket Das Kapitals."

Forced to defend his position on the left, the highly-paid communist pretended to be on the right, in the classic comedy routine perfected by Agent 86.

"I could not tell you exactly where he stood," the chief said, "because of all the agent orange we have stored in my office."

Calling for the cone of silence, Agent 86 went in to a state similar to that experienced by the protagonist in Jacob's Ladder.

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The Sooks Show An Interest In A Bolt

A third-grade team in Bougainville has scoffed at recruiting the highly-paid communist - on religious grounds.

"We are not sure if he has any," the coach, said handling a sack of balls.

Being a highly-paid communist is incompatible with defending a position on religious grounds, it is understood by most third-graders.

"We know," they said.

Not wanting to be told what they already knew, the children went on to conduct themselves without a teacher's supervision.

"We know," they said.

The Pathetic Bullies refused to rule out...

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Carlton 2014: Number 3

The Physical: only little - under six feet - strength and a soft touch combine to build a picture of a constitution of solid sensitivity, developed together.

The Spiritual: favouring the proficiency of a familiar side - leaning to the other - can be counter-acted by a subtle turning, or an upright disposition.

The Emotional: modest enterprises, vibrantly sought after, are rewarding in their own right, regardless of any bonuses on offer, or personal gain.

The Intellectual: making whatever space is round - however limited - into a site of creativity and self-expression is a source of admiration.

The Quintessential: playing the percentages - with a mixture of contained exuberance and positive flair - is a consistent basis for loving freedom.

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Carlton 2014: Number 44

The Physical: taller than you think, when seriousness is carried by a buoyant bounce in the step, the loftiest thing to be reached might be.

The Spiritual: in conjunction with a sustained application of repeated efforts, rapididity and reliabilty can be qualities that go hand in hand.

The Emotional: the energy expended in adhering to a principle can exact a high price; passion is synonymous with patience, perhaps.

The Intellectual: adept at going laterally and simply – it is understood concentration and industry can equal natural talent, in the big picture.

The Quintessential: negotiating for the collective, linking disparate parts of the whole into a cohesive organism, put your hands together.

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