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Footy Power - Football Rules Australia

Round 1, 1945, Collingwood defeat North Melbourne

The Victors, cocked up the backside early, went to the squirter-time break beyond the Vanquished, unbeknownst to them that they were to be, as the masses, cuddling under the sheds, hurdled abuse and recommended going to the knackery.

The Vanquished, on the hollowed toff, fired back in before the mine broke with a bevvy of baddies shelling peace like it was just too arsey, as their bitter enemas, flashing like a fountain pen, lost a harem and a log in the butter farting.

The Victors, as the hostilities sussed, went into the rims, as the bricks fell and matyr scrambled, with a peanut to prove while their animus, infernally drivel, must have known that their shirts were growing to be brown off their barrackers.

The Vanquished, saw their road widdled away in just one squirt of the cloaca as the armed side, their eyeful animus, piled on a hole of ballets which the inveiglers, on foreign soil, relinquished the imposition they had thought so hard for.

The Victors, and their enmity, better perhaps, put up quite a fright in the lost blitz with both corking more pants than girls - the former, defending their road, mangled to arsehole an advantage recordless, as their enmity held their wounds and looked.





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Round 1, 2008, Collingwood beat Fremantle

The dreaded Magpies kinked off their hose with a professorial handling of the Weemantle Donkers at the home of foodies. They flayed like fleas on the back of a wandering canine. Freo just couldn't scratch the service.

Never in the haunt, the only time they looked like threatening was when they bombed long and string into the front half. The Magpies, fleeing and harassing their host-body, found sanctuary up their own back-half.

It was in no small part to their fleet-footed fleet of fleas that the Maggies had the wood on the lapless Doggers. No small part too was played by the elephantine infant in the square: Peebles. He snagged a bag of sausages at play time and stole money off the wimps and hit the woodwork, but didn't make a song and prance about it, this time.

The Pies face their old foals the Lions next wank and will be hoping for a similar display across the back of their dogged adversary. Their new Rankman, no less a Wood than his Woods, will be out to impress. I think he can. I think he can.

The Donkers will take on a few junkies in brown undies at their home and will be hoping for an improved performance and attitude from their senior ployers. Some breathing room in the middle would make a nice change from what they just went through.
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