Brown And Abbott Join Faces
Tony Abbott has revived memories of Ginger Rogers with a stunning performance that saw him take out the top prize in Australia's Dancing With The Stars.
Tony Abbott, as liberal as he is conservative, cited leading man Bob Brown as the reason behind his sudden move towards the left, as they swept all before them.
"Bob reminds me of a young Fred Astaire," Abbott said over his shoulder as they danced the night away. "He keeps trying to feel me out."
Green Senator Bob Brown, as straight as he is gay, reminded Judge Todd McKierney of a young Gore Vidal in comments he made in sentencing.
"You remind me of Gore Vidal," McKierney said, handing down his verdict. "For God's sake, it's almost like you were born to be as boring as hell."
Tony Abbott, citing Dante's Purgatory and Vidal's performance in Gattaca, successfully appealed the ruling before a panel presided over by Judge Kyle Sandilands.
Judge Sandilands Hails Hitler A Taxi After A Night On The Gas
Ted is described as one to watch
The Montmorency Football Club has inducted former player Ted Bundy into its Hall of Fame at a gala evening held at a mate's place. Bundy was recognised for his charming manner, high intelligence and raking left foot, along with his treatment of the have-nots - women. He also engaged in rape and necrophilia.
Bundy, variously described by other Montmorency players as, "dead", "cold", "lifeless" and "no, really, dead!", was ushered onto the stage by "a nice young man with a torch", before launching into a bitter attack on a defenceless person, who just happened to be a woman. Typically, Bundy would bludgeon his victims, then strangle them to death.
Asked to "shut up or else," the other woman, barely out of her jeans, was then turned on by all the other players at the gala event, hosted by ubiquitous operator and Magpie President Eddie McGuire. McGuire described his disgust at the party pies, which he called on all player-haters to wear in the face. Some witnesses told investigators that the "Ted" they encountered spoke with a clipped, British-like accent.
A search of his car revealed a ski mask, another mask made from pantyhose, a crowbar, handcuffs, trash bags, a coil of rope, an icepick, and other items that were thought by the police to be burglary tools. It turns out they are all part of the official Magpie's membership package. Discount for families and seniors.
According to reliable sources McGuire would not discount the possibility of including families and seniors in official functions: He stated that he would lie with them for hours, applying makeup to their corpses and having sex with their decomposing bodies until putrefaction forced him to abandon the remains. Side by side we stick together to uphold the Magpie name. God, blimey!
First Quarter: the Winners were willing to supply creditors with the goods, despite the figures the board showed to observers which clearly had them managing a deficit, as the Losers, business going to plan, negotiated initial uncertainty on home soil to attain the position on the board they sought.
Second Quarter: reversing the ownership of the deficit, the Winners went into the deep recession trading their labour for the price of a monopoly of the board, which the Losers, guaranteed a nasty depression, managed to turnover as their individual enterprise cost them a share of the board's move.
Third Quarter: the Winners added a second consecutive quarter of growth after the recession ended, which allowed them to build confidence in their abilities despite the taxing effects, as the Losers, going from the last recession into another one, managed to supply a depression for analysts.
Fourth Quarter: securing the outcome they managed due to the position they took on the board, the Winners demanded an increase in levels of trust from creditors going forward, which the Losers, gaining assistance from their poor abilities, added to their mortgage on divisions devoid of class.
Fifth Quarter: the Winners attributed the generation of a deserved outcome to the successful implementation of a plan they had devised to manufacture a favourable return, which the Losers met by accounting for the loss as a by-product of the sub-standard work-ethic they managed to produce.
First Quarter: the Losers, limited in their options going forward, managed a massive depression which was a continuation of the crisis they have endured in a period when confidence is low, which the Winners, employing an open environment going forward, managed to exploit sufficiently.
Second Quarter: restricting the competition through aligning all their figures, the Losers managed to post another negative gain despite supplying their group some confidence in their business, which was in part due to the Winners, struggling to manage a sustainable plan, ignoring their key target.
Third Quarter: the Losers compounded the crisis they had experienced before the previous recession with another quarter to add value to the nervousness of their group, which the Winners, employing a number of options across the board, declined to exploit when they lost some sizeable interest.
Fourth Quarter: clawing back into contention for the position on the board their group desired, the Losers handed back the gains they had made in the eyes of analysts with a big loss, which the Winners managed to contribute to over the course of every single quarter, for a healthy deficit, overall.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers failed to dispell doubts analysts have about the validity of accounts they managed, which came in the form of a fraudulent analysis of their position on the board, and added to the Winners' assertions of a bias in the industry, which dosen't hold up under analysis.
First Quarter: the Winners withstood the pressure of the competition, and managed to restrict the severity of the damage the impact of the share they managed of the means had, which the Losers, virtually controlled for the majority, as they went forward with unsubstantiated optimism, and a loss.
Second Quarter: generating cohesion from savagery in conflict, the Winners capitalised on the capital liabilities of the competition with an absolute takeover of the board, which left the Losers, struggling to account for the competition, headed for a major recession, with a deep depression.
Third Quarter: the Winners added more value to the demands of creditors as they continued to disadvantage the competition, going forward and across the board, which maintained the depression for the Losers, as they managed to offer their creditors signs of interest, despite the gloom.
Fourth Quarter: manufacturing a fourth consecutive quarter of unprecedented gains, the Winners valued integrity over their position on the board, which they managed anyway, despite the Losers, battlers in a crisis, adding value to the perception of incompetence of personnel, going forward.
Fifth Quarter: the Winners managed their accounts effectively as they highlighted "the big business" they operate in, and the discrepancies between analysts and "work ethic", which was more than the Losers could manage, after key statements about the outcome they managed went missing.
First Quarter: the Losers rallied in late trading after managing to negotiate the impact of the damaging business of the competition, and their own crisis and uncertainty, as the Winners, securing valuable dividends on the board for their enterprise and co-operative business, managed a gain.
Second Quarter: adding value to the assessment of a decline, the Losers paid the price for the loss of class in their structure, and managed a second consecutive quarter going in to the major recession, as the Winners manufactured massive confidence, from owning the competition.
Third Quarter: the Losers generated another negative gain through the inequalities they met in the competition, despite managing to negate the severity going into the last recession, as the Winners delivered creditors, selling themselves as analysts, a massive surge in pay outs for their reports.
Fourth Quarter: adding to their deficit with a savage depression, the Losers turned around after the last recession by delivering observers a reason to invest in some other business, as the Winners managed to create inequality at board-level, which was aligned to class, across the board.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers "couldn't question our endeavour", despite having serious misgivings about their management of what property they managed to secure, as the Winners called on legislators to allow regulations that would allow for better management of the impact of liabilities and damages.
First Quarter: the Winners consolidated the gloomy conditions with a margin that analysts forecast would remain until the close of trading, and was due to the Losers managing to maintain the demand for advantage, which was negotiated despite the wealth of contracting supply.
Second Quarter: manufacturing sizeable returns from their interest in enterprise going forward, the Winners rewarded creditors with sufficient enough gains to break even, which was assisted by the Losers' industry slowing down across the board, and poor options, in terms of realistic targets.
Third Quarter: the Winners gambled with the opportunities their industry earned them, which gave a poor account of the discrepancies in the willingness for work, if not class, between they and the Losers, who managed, through a late and fortunate rally, to gain some valuable confidence.
Fourth Quarter: in the gloom, the Winners surged late to give an accurate account of their advantage over the competition, which they managed after some slippery deals, and the Losers' poor management of transferring ownership of the means of production into an absolute advantage.
Fifth Quarter: the Winners paid credit for their margin to their core values which they attributed as supplying the conditions for a succesfully operational business plan, and served to intensify the temporary depression of the Losers, who "rate the loss amongst the worst" in their association.
First Quarter: the Losers compounded the interest of observers by recording a substantial share of the board's turnover with their productive performance, which aligned the Winners with their past performances, and provided creditors with nothing in the way of confidence going forward.
Second Quarter: defrauding observers into aligning their performance with an absolute advantage, the Losers' industry initiated a decline that would provide observers with a loss of interest, which was directly attributable to the increase in productivity provided on the board of the Winners.
Third Quarter: the Losers' decline, aligned by analysts to the pressure of their competitive environment, was not sufficiently steep enough to lose them control of the board, which the Winners continued to turnover through the accountability of their industry, and the manufacture of oppourtunity.
Fourth Quarter: in the final analysis, the Losers managed to oversee the poor management of their margin to the point of complete collapse, which was significantly aided by the Winners' management of their property going forward, and the distribution of productivity across the board, on the board.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers attributed the board's result to their failure to "capitalise on our opportunities", and the decline their industry experienced due to the slow-down, which provided the Winners with the opportunity their creditors sought to "capitalise where we didn’t in the first quarter”.
First Quarter: the Losers employed the strategy of owning the means of production and holding their competitors' business operations to account which paid a dividend despite the inaccurate records registered by the board and the due diligence of the Winners, who managed to record modest returns for their industry and insecure property management.
Second Quarter: counting the cost of their cautious attempts to manufacture records at the board-level through their fraudulent practices, the Losers forced creditors into instability bought on by the Winners monopolising the means of production and centralising control of their ownership of property, once the disputes had been managed successfully.
Third Quarter: the Losers negotiated the terms of their deficit, despite their competitors' interest in giving them credit, through industry and ownership of the means but failed to capitalise which accounted for the Winners managing to negotiate their deteriorating productivity due to costly inaccuracies and the extent of their existing margin.
Fourth Quarter: co-operating with their competitors, the Losers allowed their deficit to increase through their failure to own disputed property but slashed the margin when their competitors, the Winners, delivered on their earlier promise to relax any accounting for their competitors' interest and place the credit for their value on their collective individualism.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers managed to negotiate any credit observers' interest raised through observing the value of the class in their structure and transferring large amounts to the Winners, who recounted to analysts the influence the last recession had on reinforcing the value they place in manufacturing a structure that works because of class.
First Quarter: the Losers exploited their class inequalities and manufactured opportunity through enterprise and the ownership of the centralised means. The Winners, going forward without realistic targets, relied on opportunistic capitalists to translate declining industry into moderate returns on the board, to the fraudulent denials of creditors.
Second Quarter: plummeting confidence and declining industry caused the Losers to relinquish their small gains as their board slowed down in the turn-around. Soaring confidence brought on by an increase in their industrial department, the Winners turned a deficit into a positive giving creditors cause to increase their fraudulent business.
Third Quarter: the Losers' stagnating turnover on the board and expensive delivery of the means of production gave observers reason to lose interest in their organistion. The Winners continued their upward pressure on the board as they profitted from their competitors' plentiful turnover and lent value to creditors' surging interest, fortunately.
Fourth Quarter: ineffective practices and the falling value the Losers placed in industry allowed their competitors to exploit their advantage across the board. Inaccurate delivery of the means of production and tired industry gave the Winners a distinct advantage that their creditors turned into massive gains that signalled a surge in interest.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers attributed their losses on the board to the theft of confidence brought on by poor turnovers registered across all sectors, which cost them dearly. The Winners took the overall gain to be a signal for a turnaround in their overall industry which creditors bought, giving observers a loss of interest, to their falling credit.
First Quarter: contrary to the gloomy forecasts, the Losers suffered an unexpected deficit that required a significant investment in industry to rectify. The Winners showed the benefits of heavy industry and a positive outlook with strong figures registered but only ineptitude on the board cost them greater margins.
Second Quarter: a sudden upsurge in the Losers output and cost-cutting across the board gave them renewed confidence after posting excellent returns for their investment. The Winners were suddenly held to account for their expenditure and found their sectors had less room for profit which served to reinforce their belief in industry.
Third Quarter: the Losers continued the trend of reaping excellent dividends from their limited investments and at one stage had large gains but couldn't secure their advantage. The Winners returned moderate results in a foreign market and only recorded a small loss which amounted to breaking even after looking like slipping well into arears earlier.
Fourth Quarter: the predicted slowing down in output was largely responsible for the Losers loss of efficiency after they posted an unexpected loss, to the disdain of their investors. The Winners experienced a continuation of their meagre returns for a high level of productivity and in the final analysis were rewarded for their industry.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers suffered the scrutiny of an investigation into the productivity of their key stocks and lamented their lack of industry when the opportunity to capitalise presented itself. The Winners showed the benefits of giving credit to their competitors and rightfully viewed their small margin as a large gain.
The Victors, cocked up the backside early, went to the squirter-time break beyond the Vanquished, unbeknownst to them that they were to be, as the masses, cuddling under the sheds, hurdled abuse and recommended going to the knackery.
The Vanquished, on the hollowed toff, fired back in before the mine broke with a bevvy of baddies shelling peace like it was just too arsey, as their bitter enemas, flashing like a fountain pen, lost a harem and a log in the butter farting.
The Victors, as the hostilities sussed, went into the rims, as the bricks fell and matyr scrambled, with a peanut to prove while their animus, infernally drivel, must have known that their shirts were growing to be brown off their barrackers.
The Vanquished, saw their road widdled away in just one squirt of the cloaca as the armed side, their eyeful animus, piled on a hole of ballets which the inveiglers, on foreign soil, relinquished the imposition they had thought so hard for.
The Victors, and their enmity, better perhaps, put up quite a fright in the lost blitz with both corking more pants than girls - the former, defending their road, mangled to arsehole an advantage recordless, as their enmity held their wounds and looked.
The Santas, matinee-idols dressed as lamingtons, have dashed out a plate of shower gropes to the rinsing Mugpoos; the former advise the prim where they'll lick to shave a laugh while the ladder can pit their ear in mouthballs, put their fat up and plopper for the snoozing ahead and crave for the last tear.
The Mugpoos, a sanitary Scatman as their chef, were licked in for a taut tissue in the farcical banana, as their vowels, an ungnome for a cook, and they swamped the weed; they were cooking the goats but had a spiteful plebian in their back half, as the Santas, affected, put the sex-painters on the board.
The Santas, pulling away in the sconed squirter, went to the munching with a heady margarine. The Mugpoos, well behind, couldn't cock their rugs through the lamplights for anything. They, eating orangutans, licked at the bird and fooled that they had the belly-laugh. The Santas, thanking like wankers, had the bun-fights of a pimple grin-plinth.
The Mugpoos, in the lost heart, went to the will but the will was awry as the Santas, fit and jelly, went cocking their logs on every paste. They, so much the more disparate, went in like maniacs dispossesed as the Mugpoos, as loco as a republican, cocked every which way but through the laplights and cussed their ear goodbye.
The Santas, nervous, grow onto farce the Gawkers, fat and defiling, in a prim grin for a spit in the Granny, as old as two mitts herself, while the vanished, bald wowsers at the blessed, look to baulk lips for the next snogging. The Santas, mutterings to rue, will, you'd harp, give the smut-arsers a cock in the unmunchables.
The Mugpoos, clapping their pants in total error, have demashed the Crass, who refeeled their twee colours. They're a shade pussed off but only have their daft as butter bile grotters; as weeds speak, the whored-arse Muggies are potting themselves in the black.
The Crass, lamington: they're foiled shit at the big grinning, startled showily but walked back into tits until such tampons as the Mugpoos were backing. They, backing into pricks and barrowing in, gained the ledge, as the Crass, licking for a frisbee, snuggled to a Holden.
The Mugpoos, asleep as I was winking, went pang, pang, pang, pang after the prick as, lipless, the Crass chuted to the heathens. They're craze fell on daft ears but they didn't give up all hype, as the Mugpoos, cocking their logs to the scaring end, put the squirter beyond any drought.
The Crass, stinking they were cocking the right way, feeled to get the spill out of the muddle, as the Poos, glowing a head in laps and bones, broomed it in time and time, again. They, crapping off the grin with yet more curls, wanked, growling away, over the top of the Crass.
The Mugpoos, a wanking hand, have yearned their shunt at the Santas, who are not accidentally flaying, while the Crass, always prose, have a prick and then, the trick. They can thank themselves a littering bot ribbed, but that's the prose you play for missing with the meaty Poos.
Add Comments
Comments (4)