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Footy Power - Football Rules Australia

Round 2, 2008, Brisbane beat Collingwood

In a gripping snatch, the Bears have given the Woodsmen goeth an STD they didn't already have in a mud-wrestling affair to rival the most uncomfortable social situations unimaginable. It was just their first loss and their first wink of the seasoning.

For much of the gambol on the haddock, the pied bong-pipers had their hands down each others pants; so slick and tight were their undies they couldn't land the foetal blow. It was to the eternal credit of both sides that they didn't go to water in the heat.

Both the Bears and the Pipes are workmanlike trousers with very few britches, except for a couple deep at the arse end. The constant pressure of the Pipes thwarted any attempts the winkers had of even entering their own front half for much of the cake-baking contest. Once they got it inside they had some lucky moments with romantic musk blasting.

When the conspiratorial Jewish lobby got a hold of the whistle it spelt curtains and drapes for the loser, in this castle the Woodies. Not for the first time the result was shaked by a baker who killed Jesus - who was one too and who also bollocked for Collingwood.

The Lions will not see any of their gentlemen friends next week when they hoist the Swarmies but will hope to wash their gear and sell it for a profit, while the Pipes will take on eternal phlegm the Tiggers at the hose of footy in a curtain-rinser to a punch-up in the carpark.
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