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Footy Power - Football Rules Australia

Round 1, 2009, Melbourne lost to North Melbourne

First Quarter: the Winners negotiated instability in a period of uncertainty through the responsible management of their organisation and a committment to accountability. The Losers managed to post the loss of a gain by breaking even after capitalising on their fortune through industry and the expoloitation of their opportunity.

Second Quarter: after trading had finished, the Winners made a marginal gain that was reflected on the board by the inequality of their relations in productivity. What gains the Losers had made were turned into losses after the rate of exchange became too much for their tired industry and lack of resources, as forecast.

Third Quarter: continuing a predictable trend, the Winners alienated analysts with their systematic and rigid lack of enterprising individualism for the sake of small gains on the board. What enterprise and vision the Losers' classless structure presented was more than balanced by their lack of realistic targets and, overheads.

Fourth Quarter: the Winners continued their consistent output with a productive performance at board level and the stalling of the growth of their competitors. The Losers experienced the slowing down of capital, as most analysts expected of industry in the down-turn, and left creditors with a loss, as forecast.

Fifth Quarter: the flexible exploitation of their comparative disadvantage gave the Winners the margin they needed to make the necessary modifications to their utilities. The Losers' comparative advantage was negligible once their lack of resources, vision at the top and class inequality had been factored into the package.
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Round 1, 1945, Collingwood defeat North Melbourne

The Victors, cocked up the backside early, went to the squirter-time break beyond the Vanquished, unbeknownst to them that they were to be, as the masses, cuddling under the sheds, hurdled abuse and recommended going to the knackery.

The Vanquished, on the hollowed toff, fired back in before the mine broke with a bevvy of baddies shelling peace like it was just too arsey, as their bitter enemas, flashing like a fountain pen, lost a harem and a log in the butter farting.

The Victors, as the hostilities sussed, went into the rims, as the bricks fell and matyr scrambled, with a peanut to prove while their animus, infernally drivel, must have known that their shirts were growing to be brown off their barrackers.

The Vanquished, saw their road widdled away in just one squirt of the cloaca as the armed side, their eyeful animus, piled on a hole of ballets which the inveiglers, on foreign soil, relinquished the imposition they had thought so hard for.

The Victors, and their enmity, better perhaps, put up quite a fright in the lost blitz with both corking more pants than girls - the former, defending their road, mangled to arsehole an advantage recordless, as their enmity held their wounds and looked.





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Round 1, 2008, Essendon beat North Melbourne

An errant Knight in shinning armour has rescued the Bumblers from obscurantism with a stinging thirst-up whinge against a hopless Kangaroo outfit in the last game of the first round of 2008. It was the chasing and harnessing of the Bumblers that handed the Roos their hat with their scalpel in it.

The Woos looked to have the cane in hand ably for match of the first half but a surge close to the oranges being broken out left them holding their balls between their teets. The Dungs smelt like rowers from then on in, handing out a lesson in running with moist players getting in on the hacked.

The Kangas pimply went to faeces when they looked like getting a motion in the ocean going. Unable and unwilling to give them a rake, the Bombres tomb and tomb again swept up their droopings and scattered them up their nostrils. The Bumblers had winkers all over the park looking to pick up anything loose.

When they face the C**ts next wink the Bumbles will have to show the same amount of leg and wear the same amount of udder-garmentry because the perverts will be waiting in the bushes with a porno and a pile of oily rags. If they can hanky on to their possessions they stand a chance.

The Roos will be hoping to quickly erase their sticky vids with something more wholesome but will have to do sewing on the back of a rug with a needle and a bit more rum in their legs, use the brawl a bit better and polish up on their silks. On this effect they will have to raise their canes considerably.
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Round 1, 2008, Hawthorn beat Melbourne

An outfit of men in brown undies has shat all over Hell's finest in a riotously odd display that was no celebration for the underworld. The party-hats were on but only one set of characters were raison toasts. It was a bread and batter, red-ladder day.

There were ominous songs early when a very tall taxi-driver ran off on his patron of the cultured and erudite with the Tosca luggage . The Melbourne passengers were too many to fit into the single cab chassis and too few to mansion. The cabbie smelt like apples and onions.

Missing several of their best, the Family clubbers unearthed a couple of peaches particularly in the small aboriginal department store. Further afield their main driver was a towering inferno of the CBD. He couldn't be put out or collected. First up efforts can quickly be erased from the mammory with a bit of a sneeze.

Facing a possibly fired-up Freo, the Hawkers will have to ring up to arrange a meeting to organise the kind of thing they're after. They'll have to jump on a plane, play on the wing, run in the aisle and sleep in the overhead compartment to arrive safely.

The Dees will be hopping to graduate with ease after putting in such a schlocker and will have to do socks against the assured Donks. Their key blayers will need to step-up, dance around and run like a grazing sheep in a pail of hay, if they want to earn a drinky-poo.

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