Except perhaps when my scarf gets itchy, in all of football, nothing gets me hotter around the collar than the biased calls of a commentator. And when it comes to unashamedly twisting things to suit their perverted middle-class outlook, Channel Ten's main-man Stephen Quartermain has stamped himself as the full package.
I've seen Quartermain in public. He's the sort of shit-kicking fart-sniffer who, while parading his prambulator around, gives the impression to women of the opposite sex that he's good husband-material. The fact is, Stephen is a dud-root. Worse still, I'd go as far as to say that, while not openly homosexual, he should declare his true leanings.
Too add weight to my assertions that Stephen Quartermain is the living embodiment of death, the 'man' entrusted with slipping football into our living rooms at 17:42 every weeknight manages a smile and a joke from a face that reeks of the arseholes he's been sucking. It is every night, between breaks, that Quartermain manages to refrain from what he calls, "a taste for unwashed anus." Nice.
It is unwashed anus that Quartermain and the likes of him, respected sluts for the big end of town, crave as they haul their slippery bodies up the ladder of success. It's no surprise to me then that Stephen's mouth - a tight and mean opening in the media - is so feared and admired by every piece of arse that should have the misfortune of getting a good licking.
I don't mean to sound critical, but let's look at Stephen's attempts to insert himself into every single opening that is presented to a well-respected brown and gold-noser. Now that we've done that, it's time for a break. Stephen's legs would do nicely, thank you.
First Quarter: the Winners, guaranteed certainty due to the abundance of class they could afford to manage, managed a period of excellent returns for their investments, which severely restricted the Losers, managing to limit panic in a continuing crisis, in their bid to offset their limited assets.
Second Quarter: sustaining the option of a massive boost to their position at the table, the Winners went into the recession on the back of two consecutive quarters which the Losers, experiencing a steady increase in the deficit they were managing, managed to add a depression to in a slump.
Third Quarter: the Winners negotiated the return to business after the break the recession afforded them with a proportionally similar output, despite the extra costs which the Losers taxed them, as they managed to generate some credit from the industry for doing the business as planned.
Fourth Quarter: experiencing a sudden and alarming stagnation of their bottom line, the Winners managed to lose any momentum from their margin as they struggled to generate interest, which was a credit to the Losers, as they sensed the need to continue with their classless account.
Fifth Quarter: the Winners handed some credit over to the competition which reinforced the interest of some analysts in placing them in a mini-crisis of confidence, which put undue interest in the Losers as they manufactured false confidence in a resource that requires a great deal to have merit.
First Quarter: the Losers depleted reserves of their stocks in confidence, as their dwindling optimism tricked creditors into investing credit in their schemes, which the Winners, destabilized by dismantling the competition's comaparative advantage in the early trading period, managed to attract.
Second Quarter: grossly underestimating the severity of the situation, the Losers incorporated laissez-faire practices into a tight situation, and it paid off for the Winners, as it added additional value to the aggression they brought to the table going forward, across the board and going forward, overall.
Third Quarter: the Losers struggled with the business of the day as they attempted to get their model for attracting credit, but not a position on the board, back into action, which the Winners managed to restrict, though for the minority they went without, and threatened to add more pain.
Fourth Quarter: managing to inflict more pain for one observer, at least, the Losers managed the means for the majority and used it poorly as their baseless confidence dwindled away, which the Winners took for themselves as they added more value to the outcome they managed.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers "weren't able to capitalise" because they "haven't got enough class" across the board as they sought "a way to exploit" the competition, which the Winners added to the value they had managed, and valued the outcome as an opportunity to "build", going forward.
First Quarter: the Losers reached a position on the board which analysts aligned to the performance they managed, depsite a number of inadequate measures they managed, which added value to the credit placed in the Winners, as they negotiated the pressure of the situation, going forward.
Second Quarter: managing a surge across the board, the Losers added stability to their business with more manageable strategies going forward securing them a margin, which guaranteed the Winners added incentive to collect themselves in the big recession, with a marginal deficit.
Third Quarter: the Losers paid the price on the board for the decline in industry observed by analysts by managing to make a margin into sizeable and sustainable deficit, which the responsibilty for had to be taken by the Winners, as they added sound decision-making practices to their risk-taking.
Fourth Quarter: incorporating incompetence into their poor levels of industry, the Losers added more numbers to their deficit as questions were asked of their business, which the Winners managed to answer with a negative report of the discrepancies of input, in the competition, and an advantage.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers "were trying to rob different areas" of their organisation to add stability to their liabilty to lose interest in maintaining accountability in keeping the costs down, which balanced effectively with the Winners, as they attempted to manage fraudulent accounts of their socialism.
First Quarter: the Winners managed to acquire a position of control on the board, which was achieved through the measures of a secondary option going forward, and the Losers negotiating the perception of unqualified ambition with a resounding performance, and an unquaified loss.
Second Quarter: through efficient transfer of opportunity and the account managed by a key option, the Winners struggled to maintain the position they had managed, which, due to the comparative poverty of options for the Losers, was not achieved, as the deficit was slashed marginally.
Third Quarter: the Winners took control of the ownership of the means of production, and managed to deliver inaccurate measures from their own pockets, which allowed the Losers, capitalising wherever opportunity met industry, to manufacture a performance that was aligned to class.
Fourth Quarter: due to a positive early outcome from property disputes, the Winners managed to hold on to their overall advantage, which they added to in the final analysis, as the Losers, delivering a performance worthy of the value creditors invested in their stocks, went away richer.
Fifth Quarter: the Winners paid credit to their "big figure" going forward, and took the opportunity to "consolidate our position", which they managed without paying any credit to the Losers, which they had earned from a consistently ambitious performance, and work "across the board".
First Quarter: the Losers incorporated productivity into their stagnant business in the difficult climate, which made turnover at board-level a difficult prospect, managing to restrict the Winners from returns that creditors could appreciate with interest, in passing themselves off as analysts.
Second Quarter: aligning their performance to the conditions, the Losers went into the recession, following two consecutive quarters, with a deficit to negotiate, which accounted for the margin the Winners had acquired through the discrepancies the board indicated to observers and analysts.
Third Quarter: the Losers generated interest from analysts with a turnaround after the recession, which delivered their organisation sizeable and unsustainable gains, as the Winners managed some sizeably sustainable stagnation in productivity, and then declined with interest in gloomy conditions, as forecast.
Fourth Quarter: as forecast by analysts, the Losers managed a decline in productivity which the board indicated was costly to the operations of their business, and guaranteed the Winners a reverse of the previous quarter's results, which managed to expel, in the short-term, negative forecasts.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers attempted to sell fraudulent creditors inaccurate accounts of the operations of their business going forward, which paid off, in the short-term, as the Winners attempted to attribute ownership of their acquisition to their core values of leadership and focus, and managed.
First Quarter: the Losers struggled to manufacture industry from their opportunity because, analysts observed their enterprise to be in short supply, and the Losers' control of the environment around the competition, which coexisted as the strategy to take their own business forward.
Second Quarter: employing a greater demand for industry as the strategy to get back in the game, the Losers managed to dupe analysts into giving them a forecasted advantage, which the Winners struggled to maintain, despite appearing, to some observers, to have had the initiative stolen by competitors.
Third Quarter: the Losers struggled to free up their key assets, despite the additional room in the economy that allowed those in control of the property more time for decision-making, which was directly attributable to the safe-guards the Winners employed to minimise the competition.
Fourth Quarter: the poor execution of decision-makers and the critical inaccuracies, generally, conspired to rob the Losers of the absolute advantage, which was acquired by the Winners through the radical restructuring of their strategy going forward, by way of identifying targets further afield.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers generated excessive criticism of their resources and forecast significant change, if the perceived industrial stagnation continued, which failed to give credit to the Losers, who labelled their "strategic analyst" as the reason they could exploit their competitor's interests.
First Quarter: the Winners secured a marginal advantage through the competent management of their reachable targets and the effective employment of their business, which was negotiated in early trading by the Losers who employed an unsustainable strategy going forward and gained a deficit.
Second Quarter: reaching their targets through the outlook that their targets can manage, the Winners registered a significant gain and went into the gloom of a recession with an advantage over the Losers, who struggled to sustain their output as their effectiveness going forward was minimised.
Third Quarter: the Winners negotiated the uncertainty of the recession by focussing on their strategy and managed to increase their margin following early signs from the Losers of resurgent productivity from radical restructuring netting dividends, leading some observers to return with interest.
Fourth Quarter: driven by optimism, manufactured with confidence, the Winners controlled the means of production and accounted for their competition through measures that generated more gains, which compounded the loss the Losers failed to avert through their targetless organisation.
Fifth Quarter: the Winners attributed the massive margin they acquired to the contribution generated from the management of their resources at the highest level, which measured against the Losers' failure to manage the crisis they created through the ownership of a classless structure.
First Quarter: the Losers secured an early advantage due to the productivity of a secondary option forcing their competitors to accept concessions that proved to be unsustainable. The Winners suffered the repercussions of a costly early lapse of accounting for their competitors' manageable investment in industry, but snapped the trend.
Second Quarter: in a reverse of the early turn-around, the Losers failed to produce what they produce best due to restrictions placed on their heavy industry and a surge in the numbers of analysts. Making use of locally abundant factors to surge to a comparative advantage, but an absolute loss, the Winners were paid immediate dividends by creditors.
Third Quarter: the Losers managed to turn the recession into a sizeable deficit after an intense early trading period and the inaccuracy of speculations offered by their small opportunity. The Winners balanced a small fortune with their indefatigable industrial outlook to turn-around their deficit and post a margin that raised the interest of analysts.
Fourth Quarter: the downward spiral of costly business on the board continued for the Losers through the doubling of their margin but for a couple of points, despite the fraudulent interest of creditors. In a boost for their stocks, the Winners manufactured a significant share of the board's turnover and rallied late to stretch the point.
Fifth Quarter: the Losers attempted to defraud observers into buying that the loss was not a product of their declining business, which served to give analysts the means. The Winners attributed their stunning gain to their established industry and highlighted the need for due diligence in adversity through modest performances of excellence.
First Quarter: the Winners invested heavily in their industry but saw little return for their endeavour which served to underline their lack of confidence under pressure. The Losers, sensing a surge in their competitors overall output, were undaunted by the less than positive outlook.
Second Quarter: despite recording excellent numbers, the Winners failed to capitalise on their booming figures which caused them to question the efficiency of their plan. The Losers utilised their hard-nosed business attributes to ignore the gloom the figures forecast and recorded better than expected losses.
Third Quarter: the Winners finally saw some healthy returns for their industry as unheralded resources showed the value of investing for the long-term. The Losers invested heavily in new resources as their most valuable assets struggled to find any room in their sectors for growth.
Fourth Quarter: a distinct slowing down in the property sector linked to a lack of industrial resources served to undermine the Winners in the eyes of the overall industry. The Losers found renewed confidence as their key figures showed a resurgence in their ability to manage their sector.
Fifth Quarter: a nervous and unhappy sentiment drove the Winners to apologise to their investors for their shaky margins and lack of growth in the overall numbers. The Losers found reasons for investors to place their confidence in excellent returns despite what the board said.
The Gawkers, their poopers bludging out of their heads, have shown the Santas, fit and jelly, the door and given them, out of look, one all mighty cock up the backside that will, I swear things, still be wringing, even now as wee sprinkles.
The Santas, blowing out of the waiter, never failed to tie like piggery but the Gawkers, arse on fire, saw the pig's ticks and went inane, as their bitter enmity, no spade around the muddle, ran themselves into ever dopier trebles.
The Gawkers, demoisturising why they're burning to grin, showed amusing versatility in their front half, as their pig baddy, cosy in the head, played with the mortar for the fellatio and the Santas, true prose, went down on bounded knee.
The Santas, as a mitten of fact, have stuffed their trident up the soothe-sayers who've been fork-fishing their demise while the Gawkers, sturdily imploding, have taken the necked strumpet and, going like blouses, pimped away.
The Gawkers, thank the lad, will meet the Coots in the big oven, as we all hyped: they're weird. I can hardly walk. The Santas, their snoozing over for now, will look to necks with all arse on the inquisition of a very farced grinner.
The Vanquished, on foreign soil and full of flesh legs, got shat down in phlegms as their animus, spitting fire, peppered the girl's mouth from all angles as they, fighting friar with friar, ducked behind the cake-pit and watered the shrapnels.
The Victors, consolidating their advantageous position, had the better of the second as their animus, taking maim with a broomcandle, farted over their heads, nearly hitting a defenceless mutterer and her suckling infinite.
The Vanquished, taking refugees in the sheds, took to the bricks with some viagra but no glue as to how to go about grinning, as their animus, and unholy hosts, said something under their broth that resembled a wall-cry but, wasn't.
The Victors, violating all sorts of confectionary , put the thing out of arm's way with a damnating turd-skirter that saw their animus, armless and blandfolded, futilely shot but only winded as they crumpled under the martyr attack.
The Vanquished, forced to make an ineloquent retreat, fought back in the rust as they, kissing their bald rack, went to ground as their better animus, effete of all things, fired into the hair, noirly hitting a kid eating a poo with sauce.
The Gawkers, looking like granny's uppers, have made mutts' meat of the Dullblogs, yawning for a shit at the toilet; studly, it wasn't to be as they went down without a fart, as the Gawkers, grinning over the top, went plop!
The Dullblogs, nowhere to be sin and making cuticle arrows in the hourly parts, cussed their doubled chins goodbye, as the Gawkers yearned themselves a reek's rust; they've eyed a shit at the prim and now they've grotty tits, while the vanished have a cat-fritter to feast.
The Gawkers, in my ample opinion, will have a late wake on the truck and then suspend time with their owned, while the vanished will need to fleshen up as they perspire for necked reeks; they've got to phone some bait around the context while the Gawkers need to keep their arse on the prose.
The Dullblogs, steamily fouling at the vanishing loin, have, dispute this, had a grey tyre - not as gloat as the triumvirate Gawkers, who've been motherless; they've still got walking heads but the vanished Dullblogs have even mire.
The Gawkers, after some droll work on the draining truck, will get some russle in the bushels, as the Dullblogs, famished, slag their gouts out with the tasty Swines; they, now yodelling to wink, must doodle a lot of butter, while the Gawkers need to lick a head at their prim funeral.
The Gawkers, grinding off their ear in style, have salivated on their spare head's sand-shoes with a whelping of the Boobs, their girl-kicker felt one shit, as they felt away proudly, all nought!
They, no snatch for their advertisers, looked like a rusty chide who's pants had laughed at it, as the Gawkers, seething at the snatch, put their thingers on the purse and decried it off!
The Gawkers, a pooful outfart, take their fiery pants into the last moon with a plum and a real shit, as the Boobs, dish-a-washing in the wind, tickle their tiles between their logs, yelp!
They, with a punch of things on the bird, have had the short, awful leer that supposers drone about, while the Gawkers, the raw drool, are still a laugh, but shudder to pat their pricks.
It'll be on like a snog when they climb out filing against the Dullblogs, in a punch of pricks! For the Boobs, it's a wrong reason on the trick to baulk up for a real toilet at the hate: swarmware!
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