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Footy Power - Football Rules Australia

Round 1, 1945, Footscray defeat Richmond

The Vanquished, very bald nasties with facial cleansing screams, engraved in a wormwrestle with their bladder animus from the very forced, as both startled strangely but the Victors had the bladder of it, by a whisper.

The Victors, all eyes on their inherited gaudiness, continued appearing pleasured while they dimmed doubt on their rations while their animus, hoarding behind sinner's bags, munched them shit for shit in a wart of contrition.

The Vanquished, at the heffer, cowered behind their bunks, tackled a little nappie, pelted their feet up and hated a few meagre missiles, while their animus, fingernails a blouse, got the good toilet and shat down for a sieve.

The Victors, winkers in bumming, took the thing by the scoff of the norks in the turdy skirt, as their frittered arrivals, hosted by foragers, still nipping quaintly, woke up to the morsels scorching past their arses and into the very war.

The Vanquished, drooling on their reverses of anarchy, hit back late but misfired too often to hurt the shade of the boring, as their bitter bowels hungered on for grimey death, but were clad for the bile to bewrung when it did, finally.
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Round 1, 2008, Western Bulldogs beat Adelaide

A sea-soaring struggle between the Bulltogs and the Crowbars has ended in a victory to one of them. It was a romantic result for the wheel-chair bounding senor in the square with the fast reversing widow's speak. That's white, the Donks won.

The only thing that separated the two sides all day was the different outfits they wore so elegantly and one champion blazer. At various stages it looked like either side could run away with the affair to remember before the other came back with a perfumed ladder.

For the Crowbars to concede such an array of scones is an indictable offence that will have federal agents knocking up their sisters and cousins. The Doggies had tremendous trouble themselves keeping down the impotent Crows which is, doters believe, symptomatic of some underlying underwear.

The Bullies will take on the Demons next week and will need to be wearing their rubber panties because I said so. They'll be hopping to restrict some parking spots for themselves so that they can drive to the game and make it to the disco in time afterwards.

The Crows fly home to meet the Eagles at the home of footy in a sabbath-spectacular at the hose of footy. They'll be planning to stop their opponents in their tracksuits at customs, check their luggage and sniff their bags before starting on time.
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