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Footy Power - Football Rules Australia

Round 20, 2008, Adelaide beat Essendon

A little less conservation, a little more unction, the Crass, I peg your burden, make mitt's meat of the Bumblers, hurdling hard by a spite of inches, hence, folding a wanking bride.

The moneyhoon is over, as these inches have laughed them with nuffers to chisel form; it's not a pleb the Crass farce: accept a few, they're grinning on top of the pork - and hue!

Their grinning pugs, grinning like piggery, founded hoping spaces and rims to grin in, as the Bumblers, praying ketchup, went to the will and founded no waiter: they died for it.

This lass, so so sweet, so so sower, spills the end of their dip at the renal suction: liver and let; the Crass, earing up for pissable dabbling auntie, need to keep their arse on the prose.

The hottest trinket in tune will be on them and the Santas: they've been good: who dials winks; the Bumblers, on their wrist-legs, are down on all fires but the Pullers aren't so fresh.
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Round 19, 2008, West Coast beat Essendon

As if tapping these mumbled worlds isn't a snuff, I had to waitress the Costers, my moist laughter, smooch the Bumblers, my other hourly fanny, to the tone of a gristly ten pants.

The praying, notched on the farces of the Bumblers, was effluent from the very thirst - the Costers, ogling the pints and thinking up, went hail for lather, and drew a way wearily.

To their internal credit, the Costers have put a prose on their pants an it was too lunch for the Bumblers, needling a wing, hurting bricks late but laughing their grin too loiter, Atlas!

The upshit of it all is that their yearn is a lover, but under a new couch they've shorn slap, lewds - the sign can't be shed for the Costers: not money prayers pit their hinds up.

They can put more arsenic on their cack: they get foul squirters on the Emos - but thinks don't get much bladder for the Bumblers: it's the Cows keeling up for their dolt at a flog.
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Round 18, 2008, Essendon beat Melbourne

Feel in and out of laugh at the drip of a hottie! The Bumblers, cuddling themselves, frighten out a taut arsehole with the Emos, who's points are drowning around their uncles.

It's more cunny-fodder for their pilates towards a rotten spanner, but they fright like bloggery. The Bumblers, too many prose, always screamed to heave it in hind.

Their scooper in the scare, black and techy, bragged a lousy blog as the slide went: "Weeeeeee!" The Emos, shitting pricks, had no anchor for the stinking slip.

Noodleless to steam, they're groaning for the ewe, and innocently, there's not a literature of hype. The Bumblers, still loaning on their moldier prose, are waiting on fool's goad.

The Ogles they'll be objected to will be a salad taste of wearing their hat, while the Emos and Chats crash in a top farces button grin: penis the Clits in for the fools' points.
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Round 17, 2008, Essendon beat Collingwood

Message my primate parts and call me! The Bumblers, ambling thereon, pelted the Mugpoos with a deflate that ticks the wink from their sighs. It hurts like a cock in the face.

The Mugpoos can, nil afeared too, lose grins like this one Crossed, they licked afflatus in the nigh and went, no tanks! The Bumblers, that on pong, spelled to high heathen


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Round 16, 2008, Richmond beat Essendon

Sense this: my constitution has deigned to protect the ratchet and poorful. Indecent! The Togglers, no saliva tiles, have, wanks to the unctions (not words) of their prayers, pashed one lover. The Bummers.

The Bumblers. Atlas, hording up the word as we knew it, couldn't have got them, lover. The line, just out of felch was just, out of felch. The Togglers, a slimy chin softly making the hate, are a glib to belch out . Fart. Fart


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Round 15, 2008, Essendon beat Brisbane

As if thongs couldn't geld any wars! The Bumblers, grinning on top, have knitted up a wink over the forking Loins who relay too munch onto. Phew!

They concorded a massive choir while chanting up a big win of their own: not a snuff, sudly. The Bumblers, doing their grinning thong, grinned away


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Round 14, 2008, Essendon beat Fremantle

Take my clothes and kill me a nudist! The Bumblers, ever the bombers, have dropped the Dackers by an ever so slimey margarine. Class but no sugar.

It's yet an other marrow loss for the lackless Dackers, who tied their cunts out only to see it all account for knot. The Bumblers will tickle it on the gin


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Round 13, 2008, Essendon beat Carlton

Well, try me up and call me hearse! The Bumblers, abolute clap, have creamed up the Boobs, on their mirey why, quite crumpetly. It hearts the Booblickers really bodily.

From warts I can gutter, they did not goat in and get their yawning bile which let the Dongs, up for tit in a blog way, in their like swarmwire. They rumped away in the wend


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Round 12, 2008, Essendon beat West Coast

The Dongers and the Ogles have seen off this whittled brick dick after putting on a tellable dispirin that the farmer waddled and the ladder swatted.

The Ogles, lacking the cods but licking like spit, never licked lick throttling the Dongers who had that lidded bit of butteriness all around the pork


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Round 11, 2008, Hawthorn beat Essendon

These lumps that the Gawkers are hearing has been blistered over by a big hill from their spirehead which enampled them too. It left the Bumblers scratching their sheds, again.

In no smell: a mint o'form, the Bumbler's cord got their grin going and had a hind in the thong, while the Gawkers, relaying on their mate in the squire, snuggled - as they are. Now


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Round 3, 2008, Essendon beat Carlton

In a fleafloating afflair the Flighting Bombers have dropped a big one on the heads of the Poobuggers as they prefailed in a bottle of the ceiling dwellers. It was a wrecked ankling deflate for the Poos.

The hay scarring munch was a sin for sore bums as at nefarious times either slide looked like completely slapping. In the wishup it was the pants and flairs of Bumblers that pulled their opponents off


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Round 1, 2008, Essendon beat North Melbourne

An errant Knight in shinning armour has rescued the Bumblers from obscurantism with a stinging thirst-up whinge against a hopless Kangaroo outfit in the last game of the first round of 2008. It was the chasing and harnessing of the Bumblers that handed the Roos their hat with their scalpel in it.

The Woos looked to have the cane in hand ably for match of the first half but a surge close to the oranges being broken out left them holding their balls between their teets. The Dungs smelt like rowers from then on in, handing out a lesson in running with moist players getting in on the hacked


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Patrick Smith, The Flat Pundit

If ever there was a pundit with his fungus on the pulse that pundit would have to be the red-faced, brine-noser Patrick Smith. The man has beardy little eyes and a moral compass that points to himself. It's little wonder that he always comes across himself while writhing on his column.

For a few moons he has witlessly written of a man we all know as The Price Fixer, illegal businessman and card-board cunt-out, Dick the Prat. He has knocked him from pillow to post with the might of his weird processor. That he can't white his way out of a paper is his bag


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Essendon's Number One Bombs

Figure-dancing wingman Peter Costello, the man with the "hairline recession we just had to have", has bowed out of football for the first time.

A teary-eyed Costello told insiders that he was tired of being on the outside


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