CAROLINE WILSON, Richmond, Journalist, 2009, The Age Newspaper
MY CHILDHOOD POETRY HERO
Marquis de Sade, a true writing genius who could literally hurt anyone he liked. I was at the convent when he first started to establish himself as one of the world's great players and later had the privilege of calling into question his often ludicrous treatment of women. Whether it was with sodomy or oral fixations, he brought excitement to the punishment of every man he ever met, not to mention a video recorder.
MY CHILDHOOD PROSE HERO
Voltaire, a magnificent hater of Shakespeare who had a beautiful smile and could make life seem so much more complicated than it actually is. In his wariness of the Arabs he was way ahead of his time and he had a happy knack of having a squishy arse.
MY IDEA OF THE PERFECT POET
Valerie Solanas and Ted Bundy rolled into one would produce the perfect poet. Valerie has excellent ideas about the way words go together: particularly 'men' and 'chainsaw', while Ted is one of the most imaginative performance-artists of all time.
MY IDEA OF THE PERFECT PROSE WRITER
Margaret Thatcher, who has heart, liver, lungs and pure blood running through her abnormally narrow veins resulting in occasional dizzy spells and lapses of concentration. In her early days she was a Pakistani man but has since developed a womb and a uterus with which she can accommodate a parasite.
Marquis de Sade, a true writing genius who could literally hurt anyone he liked. I was at the convent when he first started to establish himself as one of the world's great players and later had the privilege of calling into question his often ludicrous treatment of women. Whether it was with sodomy or oral fixations, he brought excitement to the punishment of every man he ever met, not to mention a video recorder.
MY CHILDHOOD PROSE HERO
Voltaire, a magnificent hater of Shakespeare who had a beautiful smile and could make life seem so much more complicated than it actually is. In his wariness of the Arabs he was way ahead of his time and he had a happy knack of having a squishy arse.
MY IDEA OF THE PERFECT POET
Valerie Solanas and Ted Bundy rolled into one would produce the perfect poet. Valerie has excellent ideas about the way words go together: particularly 'men' and 'chainsaw', while Ted is one of the most imaginative performance-artists of all time.
MY IDEA OF THE PERFECT PROSE WRITER
Margaret Thatcher, who has heart, liver, lungs and pure blood running through her abnormally narrow veins resulting in occasional dizzy spells and lapses of concentration. In her early days she was a Pakistani man but has since developed a womb and a uterus with which she can accommodate a parasite.
FOR THE RECORD
Caroline Wilson was born after her mother spread her legs before she was even conceived. She is an adventurous sexual partner with a wonderful imagination and a nose for smelling out bulls in season. A procession of slaughtered calves will vouch for the fact that she could, on her day, have your head on a spike. She is a useful typist but could, with a fall down the stairs, make a half-decent wife or husband.
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