Carlton, Senior Listed Player, 2009, Joe Anderson
Joe
Joe Anderson, niggardly back-pocket on-baller, has the look of a head bobbing in the back-window of a souped-up street-machine that is 'really pumping out some dope beats' and the moves of a young man you wouldn't let lay thighs on your teen-aged daughter.
The Hair: curly and brown, Joe has obviously made the greatest effort imaginable to tame the wildness inherent in his dead-celled head-warmers with the latest in product but, sadly, the effort has fallen flat and merely serves to enhance his curly nature.
The Teeth: undoubtedly the highlight of his look, Joe's teeth are straight out of a dentist's textbook which is where he selected his food-chewers from after having the lot removed when he tied them to strings and shut the door of his juvenile detention facility.
The Skin: 'no-need-for-the-solarium-Joe ', as his team-mates have dubbed him after a boozy evening of Karaoke, strip-clubs and vomitting, has near skin like a worn-out scrotum, and that's putting it mildly; it's more an in-grown-haired sack for carrying gonads.
Shane Warne says: "Joe has a head I'd like to cut off, shrink and place on my mantlepiece, only my new villa in Birmingham has too many to decide from, so instead I'd just advise Joe to think more closely about the people who associate with him, because dandruff can really rub off."
