Carlton, Senior Listed Player, 2009, Jarrad Waite
Jarrad Waite - a conformed bachelor - an accident waiting to happen, has a head on his shoulders that will have you saying, 'He's instantly recognisable from the strange object that is made of other strange objects that is attached to the larger and even stranger'.
The Hair: I strongy object to the overall lack of any sort of sense in the arrangement of deceased cells, which originate in the scalp and to my consternation I find coming out by the handful, and suggest a lack of reason or obeyance to conventional thought, just quietly.
The Teeth: I think you'd be well advised to knock out a couple in the front just to make sure that, when matters get a bit personal, there is no doubt as to what will be taking place; and by that I mean that without front teeth there can be no doubt as to what will happen.
The Skin: I would say that while premature baldness and premature guminess are aesthetically troubling by far the worst is premature wrinkling of the parts of the anatomy not designed to see past the age where that condition is of even the remotest necessity.
George Orwell says: "When I was just a socialist writing about the prevailing ills of communism, I had no idea that the pervasive irony of capitalism would see Mark Burnett take my idea of sibling voyueristic fantasies and make a television experience of them. Well, I did have an idea. My brother is friends with Burnett. We're no longer talking. It's a degenerative genetic condition of the larynx."
Sporting Mind
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Sporting Mind
I've heard that the series, "Survivor", was actually a reference to Orwell's gritty lower-order batting. Often Orwell, a number 11 bunny, would carry his bat against some of the more feared bowlers of his time. F.Scott Fitzgerald loved banging it in short to the tailenders, as did William "Wolfman" Faulkner. God, the U.S.A used to be a real force in cricket. When Lillee and Thomson used to open the bowling together in the 70's, it was like Steinbeck and Faulkner revisited. Not to be confused with Brideshead Revisited, the popular Steve Waugh tour diary.
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
It was exported to the US and the rest, in the best traditions of weird whiskers, is a brand of hirsuite history not seen since George Orwell was, scratching around the crease, backing away from comments he had made earlier.
Sporting Mind
Tangles himself was awfully drunk, his writing thwarted by habitual beer drinking - which was common place at the time. Nowadays people just do drugs. True gonzo journalism - or as Tangles dubbed it, relatively New Journalism - has sadly faded away in recent times; the only exception being Jack Marx, brother of Karl.
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
You have to hand it to him, making the writing more about himself than the so-called important events is worthy of a christmas hamper, I'd say.