The Kangaroos have pounced back to their winking ways of lost reason with a professorial lesson handed out to the truant Taggers. It was a tutorial sent-up early with a girl-blitz in the first quart of fluid.

The Woos really refound their lags in a song they sang with great gatsby as he swilled fortified winos from a kettle drum. They had to fight off a spirited Taggers effort after breaking out to a winking margin.

Unbable to stop the poor being bombarded deep into their backyard, the Taggers where hapless to stop the state kicking Woes who thrived in the extra parking spaces at the Gee. Their seniors stood up and shouted: "Banjo," before being shuffled on.

It really wars thanks to the ageing ones of the Woos that they can thank their ageing senors for the thirst being quashed. The Taggers just didn't have enough to gong around, and sourly messed their kipper.

In a rapper of a contest that they might do well to shunt down, the Cankers ploy the Gawkers who are locking the goods up. The Tankers take on the Magpipers who will probably smoke pornos.

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March 31st 2008 @ 23:00

Posted By: Norm - Category: The Kangaroos, Cattle, Round 2, 2008

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Round 2, 2008, Geelong beat Essendon

The waning Premiers have sent the Bumblers back down to Earth with their hands down perforation of the bubble blown up by pro-Bummers media sores. It was a display to warm the hearts of all bladdered-egg laughers as they stroked themselves.

The C***ts rank with the pest sides no-one has been able to kilt since Scot Palmer was a drowning buoy. The Bumblers are mediocrity incarnate, their silks are a pig's arse dressed up to look like a sliming face with a pickle in their nostril.

With strength and rum all over the park, the Carts were able to hide in the bushes where they fiddled while confused jockers paraded their meat-trays for them to pick at. The Boobers slipped themselves and, found wanking, were whisked off to fluffy speak.

It's hard to see, especially without my spectacles, how and why or who will beat the Pussies; they just look so good, so open, so inviting, so pulsating. Consigned to struggle through the dribble of the ground, the Bimbers are just plain the mean.

The Cants are the shortest priced fave in herstory to wink at the one-eyed and blind Dees next wank when they unfur their flag in their laughing-room. The mighty Donks tackle the straggling Blooperbuggerers in a battle for pants.

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March 31st 2008 @ 22:24

Posted By: Norm - Category: The Cats, Cattle, Round 2, 2008

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Round 2, 2008, Sydney beat Port Adelaide

The Sandy Swanks have hiccupped at grog they impaled after doing away with the rumming-up warties from fortified whiners who slept out in the glitzy town before going down to the tight-fussed Swannies.

The Tunnellers towelled them up with their rags they kempt under their beds, hidden from fights and smelling like nothing in birth. It was veritably a rebirth of the mitey Swankies, who showed all the glass of a painful cat.

Swabbed by a tame of buds who all seemed to cotton on to the rank in their legs, the Poorer had no ants to do any of the wank. Too many chefs and not enough cankers. The big corns were especially cowardly in the face of big, bad, bustling pots.

That they think that they should speak so soon is not a crate sing for the Swankies who aren't used to ploying so well so soon while the Poorer can ill afford to lose too many more canes if they're to fan their whey.

Next week, which according to the domino pizza theory has already happenstanced, the Swanks tack on the Loins while the Poorer have taken on the significantly richer when they have already met their moisters.

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March 30th 2008 @ 23:14

Posted By: Norm - Category: The Swans, Cattle, Round 2, 2008

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Round 2, 2008, Hawthorn beat Fremantle

The Hawkers, door-to-door pole cleaners, have fried another batch of Duckers in a no-stick pan. Full of the runs, and with a handfull of lav-poopers, they're set for bag things in 2008. The Dookers just can't put up a good-enough flight.

Even contributions across the paddock and with key singers on pong, the mighty frying Hawks are really cooking in the early art of the reason. The Dunkers, looking like commission flats, can't get any meaningful rum into their cistern

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March 30th 2008 @ 23:06

Posted By: Norm - Category: The Hawks, Cattle, Round 2, 2008

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Round 2, 2008, St. Kilda beat Carlton

Like foodbaulkers linking up to sleep with a slit, they'll be lining up again to have a crack at the Bluebirds as the Stains did away with any question as to who are the easybleats of the camp: the Blooperbuggers.

Gimped early, the Stains took the reins between the teet for the greatest part of the middlemarch and marched to a dull set of fishfingers over the mitey Bruise. It was another black tide affair for the drowning Pleadbeggars

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March 30th 2008 @ 11:33

Posted By: Norm - Category: The Saints, Cattle, Round 2, 2008

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Round 2, 2008, Adelaide beat West Coast

In a show of faith in all things weed and wonderful, the Crowbars have opened their sexy neighbour's window and mistakenly had it off with their neighbour's granny apples. The unfortunate Eagles witnessed the whole snugly affair.

Passersby noticed the blackbirds circling the carcass of the Wet Toast and could only assume that the granny had been snatched in the right. True to form, the Woegles could only stand by and study the form as the rampart Crowes acted badly and ran off

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March 30th 2008 @ 03:30

Posted By: Norm - Category: The Crows, Cattle, Round 2, 2008

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Round 2, 2008, Western Bulldogs beat Melbourne

A tog day afternoon for those without goggles saw the creatures from Hell fall to the lowly Bullies. It was a hands down the pants and fell around kind of day. The pantless Demons just couldn't rake a prick.

The promising Dogs, on a promise, rushed home goals at willy for extended periods, full stop. Early on the Dees stayed in the thing, paddling away without much cohesion, lubrication, confidence or a paddle. The Dogs duly put the paddle to their cheeks and sighed

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March 29th 2008 @ 23:31

Posted By: Norm - Category: The Dogs, Cattle, Round 2, 2008

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Round 2, 2008, Brisbane beat Collingwood

In a gripping snatch, the Bears have given the Woodsmen goeth an STD they didn't already have in a mud-wrestling affair to rival the most uncomfortable social situations unimaginable. It was just their first loss and their first wink of the seasoning.

For much of the gambol on the haddock, the pied bong-pipers had their hands down each others pants; so slick and tight were their undies they couldn't land the foetal blow. It was to the eternal credit of both sides that they didn't go to water in the heat

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March 28th 2008 @ 23:13

Posted By: Norm - Category: The Lions, Cattle, Round 2, 2008

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